3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you
    carry him towards the bathroom.

4.  In one smooth movement, put the cat in the
toilet and close both lids (you may need to
stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body
too close to the edge, as his claws will be
reaching out for anything they can find.

  5.  Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a powerwash and   rinse
which I have found to be quite effective.

6.  Have someone open the door to the outside
     and ensure that there are no people between
     the toilet and the outside door.

7.  Stand behind the toilet as far as you can,
     and quickly lift both lids.

8.  The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet,
     and run outside where he will dry himself.

     Sincerely,
     The Dog